I have a confession to make.
I lied!
Just to get you to read this post.
If I could GURANTEE that your kids will stop talking back, I would be on Dr. Phil tomorrow and would be a millionaire next month, with box seats to Texas Longhorns football games and hair plugs to cure my baldness. (JK…bald is the new sexy)
Anyway.
Here are 5 conversations you need to have with your kiddos if they are struggling with the back talking thing…
- The HONOR Conversation: You should talk to your kids about honor. I believe we are commanded to honor God, teachers, coaches, bosses, aunts, uncles, the President, Miami Heat fans and parents. However…you can’t have this conversation one time and expect it to sink in and miraculously change your son!!?! You must have the HONOR conversation over, and over, and over, and over and over.
- The WHY Conversation: Have you ever thought of simply asking your kids WHY they back talk? Seriously. So much of our parenting challenges can be handled through simple conversations. Ask them WHY. WHY they dishonor you. WHY they use “that” tone of voice. WHY they talk down to you. We gotta ask real, heartfelt questions and just listen.
- The YOU’RE DESTROYING MY HEART Conversation: Your kids need to know that you’re not always a rock. You have feelings, emotions and every time that your son disrespects you, he needs to know that he is hurting and destroying your heart.
- The YOU WILL NOT TREAT ME THIS WAY Conversation: Are you a weak, spineless, doormat parent? Do your kids run over you? If so, it’s time for you to step into your God given authority and get your balls back!! (Yes, I just said that) Look your kids in the eyes and with love, passion and grace let them know that you are no longer a doormat and they WILL NOT treat you this way ever again.
- The SLAP YOUR FACE Conversation: When I was 15 I was sassin, talking back and giving my mom the what for. She didn’t reason, love, listen and teach me about honor. She simply slapped the living crap out of my face and said never talk to me like that again. And…I never did. Not telling YOU to do this, but a lil old skool parenting might help the problem.
Do your kids talk back? Do you struggle with this? Please share your story…
Would you like to receive EpicParent’s newest posts by email? If so, click HERE or to add it to your reader click HERE.
Well said, Brother Spad. 5 conversations we should have, but it all comes down to love. Love ‘em enough that you are willing to take any step. Tough love can be that “stand up with your God given authority” and if it’s bad enough…some tougher love. Children need to understand there are consequences to thier actions.
When I was a young rough tough teenager I was a head tall than my Mom. Once when my mouth was in gear and my brain wasn’t I said some rough things I now regret. At the time, my little ol’ Mom, reached up and punched me in the head, knocking me to the ground. She said, “you will NOT talk to me like that ever again”. I never did and have not forgotten that lesson. That was tough love, she wanted me to be respectful. How can you love, if you don’t respect.
Totally agree!! You CAN’T love if you don’t respect.
Thanks. This is a great list. I’ll be sure to use these principles as I engaged and lead my kids.
Great post, Chris. Something that I do that is very effective is to say no to the next privilege or activity asked for by the offending child. Privileges return when I feel respected. Also, I only talk and listen to kids that speak respectfully to me. They are sent to their room. Then when all is calmed down we can talk about the 5 conversations, etc. One thing I have learned is that kids don’t listen in the heat of the battle; no matter how good the lecture is or how much you are trying to help them.
Love the privileges return when you feel respected. Good stuff!