5 Things Every Son Needs From His Mom
This week @ EpicParent we are in a series called “5 Things”.
Today we are looking at…
5 THINGS EVERY SON NEEDS FROM HIS MOM
- JESUS: So many moms show their sons that they love control, money, working out, fashion, facebook, their careers or their daughters more than they love their sons . I believe that moms MUST step up to the plate and show their sons that they love Jesus more than them or anything else in their life. That’s right mom! Your sons must know without a shadow of a doubt (old churchy language) that you love Jesus more than you love your very own flesh and blood. Model this and you will raise sons that will not settle and will search high and low for a woman that loves Jesus!!
- THINK CAVEMAN: Thanks to babble.com and shine.yahoo.com for this content! I couldn’t say it any better!! “Adult women have thousands of emotional states, as do girls like my daughter. Boys, on the other hand, tend to feel one of three: mad, sad, happy. Don’t project your complex emotional life on your son. His issue of the moment might not be that complicated. He wants to eat, poop, or run. On a really bad day he wants his toy back after some other kid took it from him. He doesn’t want to stare out the window and have lengthy discussions about the meaning of life, as my eight-year-old daughter often did.
- LET HIM FRIGGIN DO IT: I don’t think “friggin” is a word but it is better than the alternative! Mom’s, I want you to know that you are handicapping your boys when you don’t let them “friggin” do it. Let them pick out their own clothes, let them feed themselves, let them make their own lunch, let them pump the gas, let them make the skate ramp, let them fart, let them make the fort in the house that takes every blanket & chair, let them mow the yard, let them choose the best way to study, let them choose their girlfriend or spouse for that matter (novel idea) and when they do get married, let them choose where they want to spend Christmas. Mom’s please don’t “DO” everything for your boys! Allow them to choose, fail and figure it out!
- SAFETY: Dad’s can be tough on their boys, pushing them to succeed, run faster, draw better, throw harder and be smarter. My boys need their mom to be a safe place. A place where they can share their thoughts on dad’s intensity, a care taker when they are sick with lots of TLC (not the band TLC), to rescue them when deadlines hit, a janitor when the vomit hits the floor in the middle of the night, to pick up their confidence when a sassy chic dumps them and to love them, give them grace and believe in them when they are down in the dumps. Are you a safe place for your boys?
- BELIEF: I was speaking to my mom on the phone last week and she spoke life deep into my soul. She told me that I was an amazing father, strong speaker, great writer and phenomenal husband (doing all that I did when Jodie was in school). I don’t tend to believe all of this, but what I do know is that when no one else does, my mom always believes in me. Mom’s, your boys need you to believe in them. They need you to believe in their character, jump shot, grades, decisions and that they have what it takes.
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So…I guess Lynyrd Skynyrd’s song “Simple Kind of Man” had it pretty close to right
Mama told me, when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely, to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Ohh take your time… Don’t live too fast,
Troubles will come, and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you’ll find love,
And don’t forget son,
There is someone up above.
And be a simple kind of man.
And maybe some day you’ll love and understand.
Baby be a simple kind of man.
Won’t you do this for me son,
If you can?
Forget your lust for the rich man’s gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
I can honestly say that I need to work harder on letting my boys “friggin’” do it. I used to be a hideous control freak in my younger days and being a mother is probably the most effective way God could break me of that. I do still find myself slipping back into old CF habits from time to time, so it’s very helpful when a parent I admire reminds me to take a step back and at least let my boys try. Every so often they surprise me with how well they do something and I realize I was actually holding them back by doing it for them. Oops.
I’m actually wondering at what age I can send my oldest up a 30 foot ladder to hang the Christmas lights. 13 too early for that? Because as I explained to the boys this past Christmas, “That’s not a single mom job, that’s a Man Job ”
I too have a hard time letting my boys do it! It is so dang hard to let go. I want to try and control what i know God is already in control of. Thanks for the gut check
I absolutely love this series you are doing! Thanks so much for sharing your words of wisdom. I think for me, letting my son do things on his own is my hardest… I still want him to be my little boy and I need to start helping him grow up. Love your blog!
Great post. You hit the nail on the head with this one.
Chris, you so nailed it on the head. We raised 2 sons, and thankfully my husband would kindly step in when I was being a bit “smothering”. May I add, no matter what their ages, they still need hugs. I had a son remind me of that when he was 17 years old. We are so blessed to have 2 loving, godly young men. They had my hearts at the moment of birth. They are my protectors and yet still call me when they feel bad or sick. I am so proud of the husbands and fathers they have become. Great advice!!!
I’m cracking up on the “think caveman” one! Hilarious! And I love it!!! Thanks for these posts this week Chris!
I know my boys need lots of love – they love their cuddles and kisses and are truly mummys boys. I am lucky they spend lots of time with me and I have had to learn that they need to go wild and be crazy from time to time and I have to join in!
Major epic terrible fail!
I really have to PUSH myself to do # 3!!
I love taking care of my family…and now that our son is away at college (I really love when he arrives home–even with piles of smelly laundry)!
Reminds me….we do a lot of parenting out of guilt.
Guilt that we don’t see them enough or give them enough. Etc…
How convenient that mom gets stuck with “janitor/vomit” duty… Maybe mom should be the one comforting/cleaning the child when DAD gets to clean up the collateral damage on the floor??
Loved the article.