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I recently read a post in The New Yorker called “Why Are American Kids So Spoiled.”
The article blew me away, rocked my world and is a complete game changer in the way that I personally parent.
The article tells the story of Carolina Izquierdo, an anthropologist at the University of California, Los Angeles, and how she spent several months with the Matsigenka, a tribe of about twelve thousand people who live in the Peruvian Amazon.
Long story short.
Carolina went on a river trip with a Matsigenka family, and this certain family brought along a 6 year old young lady friend named Yanira. Here is what Carolina had to say about Yanira and the river trip.
“Although Yanira had no clear role in the group, she quickly found ways to make herself useful. Twice a day, she swept the sand off the sleeping mats, and she helped stack the kapashi leaves for transport back to the village. In the evening, she fished for crustaceans, which she cleaned, boiled, and served to the others. Calm and self-possessed, Yanira ‘asked for nothing,’ Izquierdo later recalled. The girl’s behavior made a strong impression on the anthropologist because at the time of the trip Yanira was just six years old.”
Contrast this story with…
While Caroline was involved with the Matsigenka field study, she was also involved in a study in the Big ol’ US of A. Caroline has recruited 32 families and was monitoring their every move. And here is what she found…
In the U.S., “NO child routinely performed household chores without being instructed to. Often, the kids had to be begged to attempt the simplest tasks; often, they still refused. In one fairly typical encounter, a father asked his eight-year-old son five times to please go take a bath or a shower. After the fifth plea went unheeded, the father picked the boy up and carried him into the bathroom. A few minutes later, the kid, still unwashed, wandered into another room to play a video game.”
In another encounter, an eight-year-old girl demanded her father get up from the dining table and get her silverware while another young man refused to tie his shoes and demanded that his father tie them.
I’ve read this article about 10 times now and I am convinced that many (NOT ALL) but many parents are raising their children to be “KIDULT’S.”
So what is a “KIDULT”?
“KIDULT’S” still live with their parents and hop around from job-to-job and relationship-to-relationship. They lack direction, commitment, financial independence, and personal responsibility. Read more about “KIDULT’S” at TheRebelution.com.
Do you want to reverse the “KIDULT” curse? Here are 5 ways:
- UN-MOTHER & UN-FATHER: Do less for them and force them to assess, problem solve and execute on their own.
- PRACTICE SILENCE: Don’t answer ridiculous questions they already know the answer to, make them figure it out.
- DO HOMEWORK: Read THIS and you’ll get it.
- SAY YES: Say yes to their demands and allow them to feel the consequences and wins.
- DON’T ATTEND EVERY GAME: Wow, can you believe I just said that!!?! I think it’s good for parents to miss a game at times. This will teach your son to develop an internal fortitude when dad is not present.
What is 1 thing you are doing to raise a “KIDULT?”