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Acceptable Child Abuse

Today’s post is from my 13 year old son Cole!

Like most kids my age, I have a long list of “my wants”, here are a few of the things I would love to get my hands on…

  • Xbox Live
  • Fly fishing gear
  • “NEW” snowboarding gear
  • Basketballs (I can never have enough)
  • OKC Thunder gear
  • FiftyNineFifty Hats
  • Lots of duck tape (Love to invent w/ this stuff)

I brought this list to mom and dad, just hoping they might buy some of it, and they told me that if I really want this stuff that I should get out my checkbook and buy it myself!  What!  I am only 13!   I remember one time I had to buy my own fly tying gear and I wasn’t too happy about having to spend my own money.  As I was filling out the check I start mumbling, complaining and  stomping my feet inside (I didn’t really stomp my feet, my dad would ground me forever if I acted like that).  The truth is that I was acting like a spoiled brat.

Parents that’s just one of the many times I’ve  had to buy my own things.

I started my own lawn business a couple of years ago called Grassman Lawn Care, so I do have the money in my account to buy some of this stuff.  But one day I was complaining about having to mow lawns and buy my own stuff and my dad said, “I think I am going to give your company to Tifton and that I should go get a job at McDonalds.”  That instantly knocked me into place and helped me realize that I should be thankful for my company and that I should buy things myself.  Buying my own stuff  also gives me a pretty big sense of accomplishment.

Parents, your kids are going to hate having to buy their own stuff,  I still and always will, but it will give your kids a huge head start!  Wall street journal says that my generation is the  laziest generation yet, but I say we have the most potential with our advanced technology. Parents, it is in your hands to bring out that potential in your kids.

I think giving your kids everything is a crime that most moms and dads partake in and I also think it is an acceptable form of child abuse.  So parents, stop buying your kids everything, tell them to get a job or do some chores around the house and help them find a way to earn the money to buy their stuff!

Do you buy your kids everything or are you teaching them how to work?

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Author: ChrisSprad View all posts by
Chris Spradlin (AKA Sprad) is passionate about Jesus, he doesn’t drink coffee, is bald, has a chinhawk, lives in Edmond, OK., loves to fly fish and snowboard. He has been married to his smoking hot wife Jodie for 18 years and they have 3 kiddos also known as Team Sprad. Chris if the founder of EpicParent.tv and has been in ministry for 20 years. He has served as a Pastor and Team Teacher with Craig Groeschel at LifeChurch.tv and currently serves on the Executive Team and a Team Teacher at the multisite NewHopeChurch.tv. You can find Chris on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.

13 Comments on "Acceptable Child Abuse"

  1. Christina K July 20, 2011 at 7:27 am - Reply

    Good word, Cole. So many parents miss this. Thanks for your honesty about hating the requirement of your parents, but aknowleging the value anyway. So proud of you for allowing God to use you to speak to so many ignorant (not stupid) parents!

  2. Carey July 20, 2011 at 7:48 am - Reply

    Thanks for sharing Cole! Great encouragement and thank you for your parents being great examples.
    With Joy, Carey

  3. Cissa July 20, 2011 at 9:07 am - Reply

    yay! We are doing something right! My kids are 8, 6, and 5 and it occurred to us several months ago that they had no money sense. So we developed a commission system at our house. Each child is now responsible for a set of daily chores that they do not get paid for. These are just the things they do because they are a part of the family. Then there is a list of other things they can do to earn money. They get 25 cents per job they do and they only get paid for the extra work if their unpaid jobs are done that day. When making out the list of jobs that could be done for pay my oldest suggested adding a category for going above and beyond. This is a great way for them to become creative in how they help me around the house. They have also reached out to secretly help neighbors too.

    Each week when they get paid they have to put 50 cents away for their first car (teaches long term savings) and they have the option to give some of their money to whatever cause they choose. We don’t force the giving because we want to teach giving with a cheerful heart. The rest goes in a spend envelope and they can spend it whenever they choose to. I know 25 cents doesn’t sound like much but they don’t complain. Now they tally up how much work needs to be done to buy that $70 lego set they want.

    The commission system works great at our house and it is flexible to change as the needs around our house change. Everybody does their share around the house and my kids are learning how a household is run. And the big bonus is they are no longer asking me to buy them things! They get the satisfaction of handing over that cash that they earned themselves!

  4. Lesley Spradlin July 20, 2011 at 2:16 pm - Reply

    Cole Spradlin–I am gonna tell your cousin Austin its all your fault he does not get that Train table he is begging for—then you guys can duke it out Nacho Libre style!! =) Ok–all kidding aside…so proud of you for this article. Amazing writing and even better point you make!! Love you!

  5. ChrisSprad
    ChrisSprad July 20, 2011 at 9:17 pm - Reply

    hey guys!!! thanks for commenting on cole’s post!! was curious, would you guys respond to me if you have subscribed to comments and you received this? think i may have a prob in the “subscribe to comments”.

  6. Dana Byers July 21, 2011 at 6:40 am - Reply

    Excellent post, Cole! I just read this with my 8yr old son, Blake. He is inspired to come up with a business idea, too. Thanks!

  7. Catie July 21, 2011 at 11:06 am - Reply

    Great job, Cole! Such words of wisdom. You are a great example to parents and kids alike. I’m proud of you!!!

  8. Rodney Holt October 10, 2011 at 2:35 pm - Reply

    Train, Preach it brother! You are a very wise young man.

  9. Anita Soler October 10, 2011 at 3:05 pm - Reply

    GREAT POST!!! My husband and I are mean child abusers too I guess, but wow, a funy thing happened….my kids LOVE to work and make their own money now! What is shocking is the number of other parents we catch grief from for making our kids work for money and more when we tell them we pay for bonuses for super good grades! Just like at work, when you do above and beyond, you get a bonus, so we do that at home. Show extra initiative, get extra money. Simple! Yet, so many parents are afraid of this! Keep up the good work!

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