EpicParent.tv – Honest • On the Edge • Creative Parenting

Now that I have your attention with this ridiculous title, let me explain…

Last year we were 4 weeks into school and my oldest son and I were having a pretty significant disagreement on how he should approach his homework.  I was frustrated because he didn’t seem to have a list of his assignments, the right books, he rarely studied and I was a bit concerned that his first year in middle school was overwhelming him.

I proceeded to give him a lecture on time management, responsibility and I even gave him the “your a man now, so act like it speech!”

I will never forget what he said to me after he endured my pontification.

Cole simply said…

“Dad, don’t you realize that I am not like you.  I don’t think like you, process like you and I don’t approach school like you.  I just want you to give me a chance to do it my way.”

I was speechless! I literally had nothing to say other than your right and I will shut up and let you do it your way.

Several weeks later the quarter was over and it was report card time.  Get ready for this, Train had failed 2 of his 7 classes!  So much for his, “just give me a chance to do it my way” speech!  Just kidding!  He actually brought home A’s and two B’s.  He knocked it out of the park!  This is when I came to the realization that my son doesn’t need me.  I know that sounds a bit over the top, but it is true.  Sure he needs me to be dad, provide wisdom, write checks, give love and be present.  But a time comes in all our kids’ lives when they don’t need us to make every decision for them.

So the EpicParent back to skool tip of the day is to give them the power to decide.  We must give our kiddos the power to decide…

• How they will do their homework
• Who they will hang out with
• What they will pack for lunch
• What sports THEY want to play
• How they want to wear their hair
• What clothes they will wear

Yes, kids need their parents!  But we must start releasing the reigns of choice (at a very young age) and allow them the freedom to decide.

Do you struggle with controlling your kids?  If so, I would love to hear your story.

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My smokin hot wife started nursing school last year, and while it was extremely challenging for me to play the Mr. Mom and Mr. Dad role, it was one of the best learning opportunities I have ever experienced.

I learned that mom’s are invaluable.  I learned that (most) dad’s have no clue what a mom really does.  I learned that single parents are to be honored.  But most importantly, I learned how to…

SHOW UP!

I had to show up and be the spiritual influence.  I had to show up and buy groceries.  I had to show up and wash clothes.  I had to show up and bring leadership to Team Sprad.  I had to show up and listen.  I had to show up and love unconditionally.  I had to show up when they were rejected by friends.  I had to show up!

Today’s EpicParent Back To Skool Tip is specifically for the fathers.  You kids desperately need you to…

SHOW UP!

So many fathers show up for work, golf, hunting, football season, financial aid, and fishing but seem to disappear when it comes to the hard work of raising Godly children.

Here are 5 simple ideas to help fathers start showing up…

• Show up with verbal and visible displays of affection:  I have started the practice of hugging my kids and telling them I love them several times a day.  I don’t want my kids to ever go searching for love in all the wrong places.

• Show up at lunch:  A simple way to show up is to schedule a once a month lunch date with each of your kiddos.  Have your spouse or assistant help you set this up and hold you accountable.  (meet them at school or check them out).

• Show up at night:  This is simple, requires little time with significant returns.  I encourage all fathers to spend a few short minutes with their kiddos as they lay in bed at night and pray over them.  This is a significant way for fathers to spiritually show up.

• Show up with your words:  I believe every child needs his father to speak life deep into his or her heart, soul, and mind.  Fathers, I ask you to speak life, encourage, believe in, high 5, invest financially, love on, and show up with your words.

• Show up and shut up:  Your kids don’t always need your advice, correction, analysis, commentary, and critique.

What ways do you need to start showing up?

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When I was on staff at LifeChurch.tv, based out of Oklahoma City, I had the honor and privilege of working with @ScottWilliams.  Scott is an incredible leader, he has become an influential voice in the church world, and has just written a book called “Church Diversity:  Sunday The Most Segregated Day Of The Week”.  Scott is becoming well known as the voice of racial reconciliation, but I believe one of Scott’s greatest messages of all times is the message of… “DO YOU!!”

The concept of “DO YOU” is best described below…

Psalm 139:13-16 says…

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

Jeremiah 29:11 says…

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Raymond Hull says…

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”

E.E. Cummings says…

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

Pastor John Hagee says…

“God created you an original, don’t die a cheap copy!”

Our kids live in a world of posers, imposters, fakes, implants, injections, cheap copies, imitators, air brushed people, and plastic hearts.  Our job as parents is to instill the truth in them that God created them as an original, that God created them for a purpose, and that God has a plan for their life.

As our kids head back to school we can arm them with Supra Shoes, Etnies back packs, Jordache Jeans, and Blues Clues lunch boxes, but EpicParents back to school tip for today is to simply teach them to…

“DO YOU”

Be who God created them to be!

Check out Scott’s post on Raising World Challengers.

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My life as I know it ends next Monday!!  That’s right!!  It’s over, finished, a bygone and ancient history!!

My stud muffin of a wife, Jodie, starts her second year of nursing school and I will once again be Mr. Mom, Mr. Dad, breakfast maker, homework checker, laundry man, grocery getter and the soft, loving, caring, passionate and love oozing father for my emotional 6th grade daughter.

I honestly don’t see how single parents do it.  I admire you, am blown away by you and secretly worship you all (in a non idol worshipping kind of a way)!

The truth about Dad Sprad is that I am no single parent and I literally CAN’T do this by myself.  Not a chance!  So my three kiddos will pull a serious amount of weight over the next few months.  As a matter of fact, Team Sprad will clean their rooms, bathrooms, vacuum, do dishes, clean the kitchen as well as the over spray around dad’s toilet.  (Sick I know…but all men do it)

So here is the EpicParent tip of the day…

It’s time for your freaking kids to grow up and take some responsibility around the house!!

Wow!  That was harsh, but seriously, it’s time!

Here is the deal…

Were all busy!  We work, drag kids to cheer, clean the house, do laundry, coach football, mow the yard and so on!!

So…

When school launches in a few days I challenge all parents to teach their kids ownership and hard work by taking responsibility around the house.  It’s time for your kiddos to step up to the plate!

Click HERE to see how Team Sprad has divided up the chores while mom is in school.

Do your kids have chores around your home?  If so, what?

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In just a few days, mom’s from all over the world will cry in unison and shed tears of joy!  In just a few days, CNN will interrupt your normal programming with the breaking news that moms everywhere are singing and dancing in the streets!!  (just like Lionel Richie’s video “All Night Long”)  In just a few days, moms everywhere will pull out their Kook & The Gang 8 track and blast “Celebration” for all the world to hear!!!

In just a few days, kids head back to school and mom’s will get a much needed break!!  Can I get an AMEN!!

As parents, there are thousands of things that we must do to get our kids ready to start the year.  We have to buy school supplies, back packs, skinny jeans, Dukes of Hazzard lunch boxes, pay enrollment fees, make our kids go to bed early, deposit money into their lunch account as well as make sure they are emotionally prepped.

So here is what blows me away about getting our kids ready for school…so many parents spend more time searching for their kids school shoes than they do spiritually preparing their kids for the school year!  Can I get a second AMEN!!

I want to ask all parents to take some time this week and set some spiritual goals that will help you deposit Christ into your kids this fall.  Seriously!  I want to ask all parents to actually take out your Big Chief Tablet and No.2 pencil and write down your spiritual goals.

If your stuck and need some ideas, maybe this will help…

• Set a goal to have one family night/devotional night a week.  (This is for kids of all ages)
• Dad’s, set a goal to lead this devotional.  (It’s time to step out of your comfort zone and let your kids see you lead spiritually)
• Commit to praying over your kids when they go to bed 3 out of 7 nights.  (That would be a great start)
• Make a commitment to attend church three out of 4 weekends as a family.
• Parents, sign up to be youth leaders and commit to being more involved in your kids spiritual life.
• Set a goal to get up early three out of five school days to get in God’s Word as a fam.
• Read a spiritual book together and get together once a week to unpack it.
• Make a commitment to serve others as a family.  (try doing this once a month)
• Plan a monthly breakfast with each of your kiddos individually to unpack spiritual stuff.

Parents!!  Please don’t let another year go by without depositing Christ in your kids.

I would love to hear your comments on what spiritual goals you are planning to set with your kids this year?

For similar articles on depositing Christ in your kids, you should check out…

• Teach Your Kids To Set New Years Resolutions
• Craig Groeschel On Parenting World Changers
• Seeds Of Servanthood, Amy Groeschel

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