EpicParent.tv – Honest • On the Edge • Creative Parenting

I remember hearing my friend and pastor, Craig Groeschel, tell a story about a friend of his that was OC (obsessive – compulsive) about the cleanliness of his house.

His specific passion was having clean, smudge free, paw print free, sparkling, heaven like windows!

To the point that this guy would break out the windex, water and vinegar…any MacGyver like combination of chemicals that would leave his windows lookin pristine and pimped.

So time flew, the clock ticked, his kids grew up, graduated and flew the coop!!…and left dad to stare out his pristine, pimped and sparkling clean windows all alone.

And Craig remembers the guy saying something to the effect of…

“I wish my kids were still around to smudge up the windows I worked so hard to keep clean”

So mom’s…

The clock is ticking and time is flying!

You better learn to CHERISH the smudges, sippy cups and dirty diapers, spaghetti in the nostrils, pee on the seat, crayons on the wall, watching your kids eat their boogs in the rear view mirror, Dora, Blues Clues, a thousand questions about the moon, crushes and broken hearts, acne, skinny jeans, sick high tops and Justin Bieber songs.

You better learn to CHERISH drivers ed, the first date, the first break up, working at the mall, broken arms, skid marks in the undies, crusty oatmeal stuck to the bowl, driving them to youth group and all the basketball, football, cheer, chess, music lessons, rock climbing events and snow board competitions!!

A day is coming when you to will say…

“I wish my kids were still around to smudge up the windows.”

Mom!!  Cherish ” the good, bad and ugly” of being a mom before the days vanish!

“You, indeed, have made my days short in length,
and my life span as nothing in Your sight.
Yes, every mortal man is only a vapor. Selah”  Psalm 39:5

Do you take time for granted?  What is 1 thing you want to do with your kiddos before they leave the house?

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Last year I had the awesome opportunity to be a part of the D6 Family Ministry Conference and I was absolutely blown away.  The speakers, leaders, staff, volunteers, breakout communicators as well as vendors eat, drink and sleep empowering parents and churches.

So here is the deal!  You need to be at D6 2012.  The location is Big D (Dallas) and the dates are September 26 – 28…and you can find out more info HERE. 

This is a conference that every Pastor, Parent, Youth guy/gal and volunteer MUST attend!

You will laugh, cry, experience Jesus, make friends, hear life changing communicators and your family as well as your church will be changed.

Want to know more?  Here is a “best of” video from 2011.

I will be at D6 2012 leading a couple of breakout sessions called “Workaholics In The Name Of Jesus” and “Lust, Sex & Triple X”.  I would love to connect with you while I am in Big D so give me a heads up if your headed that way.

If your planning to attend D6, leave a comment and let me know!

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The more and more I talk with parents, the more and more I realize parents have little to no clue as to what is really going on in their kids lives!!

For example…

I recently had a conversation with a teenager that said she was addicted to cutting.  (Not sure what cutting is?  Read HERE)  I asked if her mom knew and you guessed it…the answer was a big fat NO

I also had a 4th grader tell me that he had figured out how to get his mom to sign off that she had seen all his bad test grades, when in reality she only saw the good grades.  He was manipulating and lying to his teacher as well as his mom.  And yeah, I did say 4th grade!  And he was a good kid.

And what about the Jr. High girl that convinced her dad she was having a sleep over with a friend…and she was staying the night with her boyfriend!!

This week I also heard about a 6th grader that went behind her father’s back to have a Facebook page…after he said NO.

This disease of secret keeping, dishonesty and silence is a disease that is infecting and crippling families all over the world!

Mom and Dad…listen up!

It’s your job to fight, scratch, push and claw your way into your kids’ lives!  (But don’t be a freakin weirdo about it!!  Or you will make is worse)

So here are 5 tips to creating a secret free relationship with your kiddos…

• START FROM SCRATCH:  I’m sick of parents that place the “right” over the “relationship.”  You may have the “right” to ask if they are dating behind your back, but do you have the “relationship” to ask?  You may have the “right” to demand full disclosure, but do you have the “relationship?”  The days of, “because I am dad and I say so” are over.  If you want to create a secret free relationship, some parents may need to start from scratch.  You may need to start from scratch by asking forgiveness for your controlling, non life giving, my way or the highway mentality.  You may need to start from scratch and take your son/daughter on a date every single week and “earn the right to be heard.”  You may need to start from scratch and ask your kids about their dreams, friends, style and loves.  Parents!!  If you need to start from scratch, don’t walk in pride.  Take a step back and start over.  If your kids are young…start from scratch but do it right the first time!
• GET RID OF THE BITTER BEER FACE:  Here is a captain obvious “A-HA” moment for all parents…your kids don’t want to be around you because your freakin stressed, boring, wear tan high waters that go up your crack (or mom jeans) and wear the weight of the world on your face!!  Lighten up, laugh, have some fun, get some perspective and do something stupid and fun with your kids.
• BE HONEST:  This week Coletrain and I were having the 75^th installment of “The Sex Talk” and he straight up asked me if Jodie and I still have sex and how often!!?!  Wow…wasn’t sure how to answer that so I was just honest.  “Yeah son, we do!   God made sex and it’s awesome and we shoot for a triple crown at least twice a week!”  Yeah…that’s not what I said!!  However, I did tell him we were pretty regular because mom and dad like it.  He was grossed a little, I was honest and he laughed.  But…through my honesty in sensitive and awkward subjects I built a bridge to his heart and in return, he feels comfortable being honest with me.
• LET THEM BE RIGHT:  This weekend I was traveling with Coletrain and he is a young man with many opinions.  He has opinions on sex, girls, business, Jesus, fashion, our family…  And if I’m honest,  some of his opinions are just whacked!  So what did I do?  I let him have his opinions.  I didn’t correct, coach, shutdown and putdown his ideas and opinions (unless it was Biblical worldview stuff).  My ability to listen and let him be right creates a pathway of communication where he feels comfortable to share the final 10% with his dad.
• ASK HARD QUESTIONS:  I am notorious for just jumping right in the middle of my kids stuff.  I love to ask hard and awkward questions…  “you’re being quiet today, what did dad do to hack you off?”  “Did you look at porn today on your phone?”  “What do you honestly think about Jesus?”  “Do you feel like mom and dad shoves Jesus down your throat?”  “What boy do you have the hots for…but are embarrassed to tell us?”  I think you get the idea…don’t hesitate.  The only way you get shocking answers is if you ask shocking questions.

Are your kids keeping secrets from you?  If so, I would love to hear “why” you think they are afraid of being honest with you?

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Have you taken the fam to see bully yet!!?!

If not, don’t let another day pass without packing the fam in the panel sided Country Squire Wagon and making  it happen!!

One of the young ladies in bully was a gay girl named Kelby Johnson, who was from a small town in Oklahoma.  As I was watching this flick, my heart was broken at how Kelby was put down, isolated, destroyed and banished from having any sort of a life. (more…)

I’m fed up!  I’m done!  And I am sick of this behavior!

This will NEVER happen in the Spradlin home again!!

Last week my youngest son, Tifton Jack, stole some money from my wife’s purse because he wanted to buy some new Star Wars Lego’s thingy…

We caught him red handed and decided to do the unthinkable!!

Jodie and I made him a sign that said “I stole $20 from my mom…and lied about it” and we made him carry this sign and walk up and down main street!!

I think he has learned his lesson. (more…)

Christmas time around the Sprad home always makes me a nervous wreck!!

Let me explain…

Most “normal” kids will buy their dad a socket set, Old Spice cologne, a Swiss Army knife or maybe a tie or something…

Yeah, that would be nice!  But not Team Sprad!

I remember two years ago I got a pair of “used” panties.  (more…)

Today’s post is from my mate Miles Paludan.  Miles is an Aussie from down under, but now lives in Edmond, Oklahoma where he is the Campus Pastor of LifeChurch.tv Edmond.  Miles has been a great friend over the years!  We have laughed together, walked through incredibly difficult times together, snowboarded together and plan to hit the Gold Coast together!  He is a tremendous friend, leader, pastor, father, husband and he is truly the real deal.  Miles better half is Bonnie and she is a true Saint!  And as you can see from the pic, they have 5 ankle biters (kids)!  What a great family!  It is an honor to call them friends and if you would like to connect with Miles, you can find him on FACEBOOK.

So here’s Miles… (more…)