EpicParent.tv – Honest • On the Edge • Creative Parenting

pro-tect:  to cover or shield from exposure, injury, damage, or destruction  (via www.m-w.com)

So many parents number one goal in life is to protect their kids!

We protect our kids from…

• Mean kids
• Disappointment
• Making bad decisions
• The sun (this is a good idea btw…)
• Evel Kneivel tricks
• Coaches (maybe your kids is not the best, imagine that)
• Boredom (this actually triggers creativity)
• Going broke as a result of not managing your money well  (allow your kids to suffer the consequences)

I believe there are times when we must clearly step in and protect our kids, but I also believe there are times when we should step back and allow our kids to feel the pain.  C.S. Lewis says that pain is God’s megaphone.  Pain will get your kids attention, it will shape them, teach them, break them, rebuild them and carve character deep into their heart.  Pain will make them more like Christ.

TEACH YOUR KIDS TO…

• STEP INTO THE PAIN & BE HONEST: Teach your kids to be honest even though their honesty might land them in trouble with significant consequences.
• STEP INTO THE PAIN & SAVE: Teach your kids to save money over time and purchase the new Lego town, Oakley’s or car.  Welcome them to the real world.
• STEP INTO THE PAIN &  SPEAK UP: My son felt he was treated poorly by his coach.  I would typically step in and have a conversation with the coach (I am a recovering pain in the butt sport’s dad).  This time I taught Cole to step into the pain and talk to the coach himself.
• STEP INTO THE PAIN & STAND UP: Teach your kids to stand up for others.  Our kids have an opportunity every single day at school to stand up for kids that are lonely, hurting and made fun of.  Step into the pain and stand up for someone else.
• STEP INTO THE PAIN OF LONELINESS: My son has gone through a very hard semester of friends laughing, gossiping and abandoning him.  (this literally shattered my heart to watch him go/grow through this)!  We taught him to stand strong, be confident, be proud of God’s unique design and plan for his life, step into the loneliness and be dependent on Jesus.  God did not change his circumstances but he gave him peace and joy in the pain.

WHAT PAIN DO YOU NEED TO LET YOUR KIDS STEP INTO?

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My oldest son, Cole…we call him Train, was 5 years old and we were getting ready to go snowboarding and our conversation went something like this…

COLE: “Dad, do you think I will hurt myself snowboarding today?”

ME: “I am not sure Cole, there is always that risk when you are boarding.”

COLE: “Dad, do you think I will break my arm boarding today.”

ME: “Maybe, I guess there is always that chance.”

My parenting style can be a little wacko at times.  However, I try to teach my kids that safety is wise not most important.  Trusting God in the midst of calculated risk is most important.

COLE: long, thinking, contemplative  pause…

COLE: “Well dad…no falls, no balls!  A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do…let’s get moving!”  (I love this story!)

Did I mention he was 5?

COLE CHOSE RISK OVER SAFETY

Every single day our kids are faced with tough choices.  Our job as parents  is to lead, resource and equip our kids to make the right but difficult choices for their lives.

This week we will look at helping our kids choose:

• Pain over comfort
• Impact over impression
• Contribution over consumption

Help me think through this…

What tough choices have you had to lead your kids through?

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For several years I had the privilege of working with Gina McClain at LifeChurch.tv, and it was an absolute blast!  She is now the Children’s Ministry Director for Faith Promise Church in Tennessee.  Gina is a strong leader, amazing mom, coffee freak, loves her husband, OSU Cowboys fan (for some reason)…she is truly a great friend and I am a better person, leader, pastor and dad because of the time I was able to spend with her.

Gina is our guest writer for EpicParent today.  Great article from a seasoned mom!

Thank you Gina!

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It’s a brand new year.  And admittedly I approach this year more soberly than the past.  Every year I’m a little less surprised that last year went by so quickly.  They always do.

Every year I take some time to set professional and personal goals.  This year is a little different.  Rather than setting goals, I decided to set some “permissions” instead.  You see, during this season in my family, I have the greatest influence in the lives of my kids.  And I refuse to allow the erosion of my influence simply because I failed to give myself permission.  So here you go… a list of the 4 things I give myself permission to do in 2011.

1.       Laugh at myself more.  Taking myself too seriously makes for a cranky mom.  I’m giving myself margin to step back and have a good chuckle over the ridiculous things that I do

2.       Just say ‘No’… to laundry and ‘Yes’ to chess.  My 11 year old will whip out a game when he really wants one-on-one time.  I give myself the freedom to grab it while I can

3.       Coach more.  Rant less.  My kids stop listening when I get on my soap box.  But their ears are perked when I encourage and build up.  Setting myself up for a rich coaching moment is so rewarding.  I want more of those.

4.       Spend more time figuring out what my kids are telling me.  Less time figuring out what I want to tell them.  I have more success connecting with them spiritually when I listen to where God has them today.

Mom!  It’s easy to get entangled by the mistakes we’ve made on the parenting journey.  In fact, we tend to view ourselves through the lens of our parenting mishaps.  But if scripture is true and God’s mercies are new every morning, then we must be willing to walk in that truth.  Even after our worst “Mommy Dearest” moment, I give you permission to drop the wire hanger and embrace the truth of grace.  You can’t extend grace to your child beyond the grace you are willing to extend yourself.  So go ahead… give yourself grace… and give yourself permission.

You should read Gina’s BLOG

Find her on FACEBOOK

Follow her on TWITTER

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My friends Kenny Reisman & Kristen Race are driving the Hang Up & Hang Out initiative.  They are asking all parents to put their cell phones away when hanging with The Fam next week (Jan. 24th – 30th).  Give it a shot!

HANG UP & HANG OUT!

Follow Kenny & Kristen Race on twitter!

ARE YOU ADDICTED TO YOUR PHONE?  WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR FEEDBACK.

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Are your kids lazy?

Do your kids help around the house?

Do they complain when you ask them to take out the trash?

Are they frustrated when you give them a curfew?

As parents, I believe this is one of the greatest verses and lessons that we can ever impart into our kids…

“Whatever you do, work at it wholeheartedly as though you were doing it for the Lord and not merely for people.”  Colossians 3:23

We must teach our kids that every action, word and deed is an opportunity for us to worship and honor God by bringing Him our very best!

TEACH YOUR KIDS TO BRING GREATNESS TO THE FOLLOWING AREAS…

• How they treat their brothers & sisters
• Taking the trash out
• Feeding the dogs
• Grades
• Attitude
• How they take care of their stuff
• What they eat
• Athletics
• How they treat kids at school
• Honoring their teacher
• What they watch on tv and listen to on the radio
• The Xbox games they play
• At work

Parents, we need to help our kids understand that everything they do & every word said is an opportunity to honor God and bring greatness to his name.

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Parents, listen up!!!

“If your kids hang around with dogs, they will get fleas”

“If your kids drink, smoke & chew.  They will run around with girls that do”

“Your kids will become who they align themselves with”

If  your children align themselves with…

• Kids that look at porn, your kids will look at porn.
• Kids that make fun of others, your kids will make fun of others.
• Kids that party, your kids will party.
• Kids that steal pacifiers, your kids will become pacifier thieves.  (my daughter was one of these)
• Kids that have poor character, your kids will have poor character.

(there are exceptions to the rule, but it is rare)

If your children align themselves with…

• Kids that love Jesus, your kids will love Jesus.
• Kids that are others focused, your kids will be others focused.
• World changers, your kids will become world changers.
• Spiritual risk takers, your kids will be spiritual risk takers.
• Kids that walk in character & integrity, your kids will walk in character & integrity.
• Kids that value honesty over pain, your kids will value honesty over pain.
• Spiritual entrepreneur’s your kids will be spiritual entrepreneur’s.

Parents!  Consider the following questions about your kids & their friendships…

1. What current relationship needs to come to an end?
2. What relationships need to be initiated?
3. What character qualities do you need your kids aligned with?

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Wade Tilley and his wife Connie are some of my best friends in the whole world!  I love them both dearly and words will never express how much they mean to me.  Wade has a gift that God has given him, the gift of encouragement.  I have never met a man in my life that has the ability to speak life, encourage, love, see the best and believe in people like Wade Tilley.  A common saying around Team Sprad’s home is, “I need some Wade Tilley today”!

You can find Wade on FACEBOOK or follow him on TWITTER and he is sure to encourage and speak life into your soul.

Here is a post from my good friend, Wade Tilley…

You have to Think it before you can Be it

You have to Be it before you can Do it

Think + Be + Do = Have.

I believe that is profoundly true!

If you don’t already know, Parenting is the most important job there is!!  In Many ways Parenting is Leadership.  Leadership is a way of thinking that starts with YOU.  My definition of “Living Large” is;  “Having the self discipline  to expect MORE from yourself.

6 KEYS TO HELP PARENTS LIVE LARGE

1)      THINK BIG PICTURE – Pray as a family, ask God to show you His mission for your family.  Write your vision down and then define your core values.  Parents, you take the lead, but do it as a family.  As the leader of your home, you must weigh all decisions against the vision and values of your family.  Here is a team that will help you craft your own family vision. (more…)