Just in case you missed Time Magazine’s controversial cover story and pic…
You know the one!! The young blond on the front with her three year old standing on a chair, feeding on his mom’s breast.
Well…
You’re not going to see that pic here! We try to be edgy, innovative and brutally honest…that’s just a lil too much!
So the main story is about Sears, a pediatrician known as “Dr. Bill”. Sears and his wife are the “attachment parenting” gurus that advocate being more readily available for your kids emotional needs as well as the immediate physical needs of toddlers and infants.
This philosophy advocates breastfeeding, says no to spanking children and other kinds of corporal punishment and has inspired the natural childbirth, anti-circumcision and natural and organic foods movements.
So all that to say…
How old is TOO old to breastfeed? I asked this question on my Facebook the other day and here are some of the responses.
“When asking such a question it should be followed by.. Serious answers only please… Just saying. I have had to use all will power to hold back”
“I think much older than 15 months is a bit much.”
“It’s a personal choice that the mother and child should decide. It’s incredible how rude people can be about this situation. God gave you boobs and milk for this reason.”
“The world wide average age is 3, I personally think that is insane.”
“We did a missions trip to a village in Mexico where it wasn’t uncommon to go to 12 and we met one Indian who was 15 and still being breast fed !”
Some of these answers are right on…and some are just freakin hilarious. Can you tell which comments are from the men?
There were two more comments that I believed were really wise as well and took some real thought, so here you go…
“This is such a emotionally charged subject…but there is research that supports extended nursing. why is nursing pushed so much in the beginning? Because it has sooo many health benefits for the baby. Those benefits don’t just disappear at a magic age! Somewhere in there people loose sight of the benefits and it becomes “gross.” Why? (no answer needed- I’ve heard them all!)”
“Not to sound spiritual, but listen to the Spirit of God. He is the one that lead you to new life, and He is the one to help you answer this question for your child and yourself. I did it with both kids, and He lead me to the perfect time for us. I, therefore, do not feel badly when compared to others, because I know I obeyed.”
In terms of wisdom from the one and only Mr. Chris Spradlin? Yeah, hmmm…I don’t have much wisdom to impart on this subject. (That should have sounded like the boss on Office Space)
I know my limitations and where my expertise begins and ends. I just hope you were able to glean some wisdom from the comments above!
However, If he is starting to grow a stach…well, it’s probably been a little too long!!?!
What do you think? Leave a comment and share your opinion.
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Ahem, I have thoughts and here goes: (steps on my soapbox)
I nursed each of my kids for 12 months because that was what was best for our family, although I thought about prolonged nursing but knew that it wasn’t the right choice for me. I have many dear friends who nursed until the age of two and even beyond right in my living room in the middle of play dates. It didn’t phase me or my kids in the least and I fully supported their choice.
I understand the desire to continue the mother/child bond through nursing and I truly don’t see anything harmful in it. If both mother and child are enjoying it, then continue nursing by all means! It’s natural, it’s what the boobs were made for first and foremost.
The time magazine cover was harsh and in no way represents what prolonged nursing really looks like, which is a tender and close experience, not a harsh and jarring one.
In Foreign countries nurse each other’s children for years because it’s a way that they can provide much needed nourishment for hungry kids. In America we have endless options in our pantries so considering breast milk as a source of nourishment is weird or odd.
I really wish that all the critics of extended nursing would back off and focus on what’s good for their family and stop interjecting their opinions into the well meaning and totally biblically supported parenting choices of their fellow mothers.
Why are we creating factions on something so natural? How is it benefitting our need to support each other as mothers and parents? Here’s a hint: It’s not. There are so many meaningful battles to fight in the behalf of kids, this isn’t one of them.
(Dismounts soapbox and puts it back in the closet)
Leanne, first of all I love the soap box thing…and I appreciate your feedback and land where most of my readers land. This is a family’s decision, moms decision and freedom must be given to choose.
I breastfed my child till 2. A relationship that was supposed to end at 12 months. She wasn’t having it, so I continued on. I believe a women has a right to feed as long as she chooses to. I was never a mom that breastfed in public because I was uncomfortable. If a women is happy with her choice, then more power to her. Dr. Sears always says “if you don’t like it, then change it.” I had to stop because I was tired. Maybe if I wasn’t a working mom, then we would have continued on. I am not ashamed of my choice, but I did get the looks and insulting comments. Yet, I took them like a grain of salt because I have a healthy, happy toddler. Parenting isn’t a size one fits all issue. Parents do what is best for them and their children. So, since no one likes to be told what to eat or what to wear because they have the freedom to make their own choices, then the same should go for parenting choices. Whether it is not breast feeding at all or breast feeding till 5. Society needs to stop passing judgement because all it is teaching our children is that it does matter what everyone thinks of you.
love the… “if mom’s don’t like it, change it!”
Chris, why are you even asking these questions? This is another subject that should be decided by individual families, without any judgement from others for those decisions. We need to support each other, not stir up controversy!
That being said, I nursed for an extended amount of time with all of my 5 kiddos. (I believe I have nursed for about 11 years total.) The earliest I weaned was at 18 months, the latest was at 3 years. Definitely not a choice everyone would make, but this is what worked for our family – and for each individual child.
Parenting is most definitely not a “one size fits all” mentality.
agree…def not a “one size fit all” subject!!
I just want to ask why people want to judge me for my choices about how I raise my own children? This article was addressing the fact that we can’t feed our children in public without someone being obnoxious to us. I have made an EDUCATED decision about how I think my child should be raised naturally. People have even said to me that if I want to continue giving my child my milk, then why don’t I pump and give it to her in a sippy cup. Why on earth should I pump or hide when I want to feed my child? Why would I possibly want to take the milk out of my breast with a machine that hurts me half of the time, and contaminate it by putting it in a bottle that is impossible to clean perfectly and then store it, because there is no way I could pump it out fast enough to get it to my child right away when she is hungry. Plus, part of the benefit of breast feeding (directly from the breast) is the comfort the child receives from it. I mean, none of my kids have to walk around with a blankie, or a pacifier, or a teddy. They get their reassurance and comfort from their MOTHER, not some artificial substitute.
We are one of the ONLY countries in the world that is so uptight that women even have to think about covering up when breast feeding. If you don’t want to see it, DON’T LOOK AT IT! There are other places to look. By LAW, if I am allowed to be there, then I am allowed to breastfeed there … without covering up.
Here is a great, scientifically based argument for extended breast feeding: http://www.llli.org/ba/aug94.html, the study looks at what age other mammals wean their babies.
By the way, the TIME magazine article was GREAT, and so was the picture. (I believe in attachment parenting and my 2 year old daughter still sleeps in my bed! AND my 10 year old son shares a bed with my 7 year old son BY CHOICE.) They posed the picture in a way to make the kid look older and bigger so that they would attract attention and spark debate about the “controversy” because they want people to education themselves instead of just sitting here and judging based on their own inability to see breastfeeding for what it is, THE NATURAL way to nourish your kids. They are trying to bring America (one of the most “modern” countries in the world) out of the “dark ages” when it comes to attachment parenting. Try reading it, there is some really good research out there that just *might* convince you that we are not all that crazy like you think we are.
The nutrition, immune system development, and brain development does continue well beyond infancy. As long as they have studied, they have shown health benefits. Secondly, breastfed babies (as well as babies who are “attachment parented”) are often MORE independent because they have their dependency needs met. Also, the way the nursing relationship naturally evolves, by the time the kid is 3-4, the kid is probably only nursing 2-3 times a day (often for comfort when they are sleepy and not out of hunger). The comfort is in fulfilling their natural instinct to suckle and the closeness and reassurance of knowing mommy is right there to fulfill that basic need. By saying that sometimes its just for comfort doesn’t mean that’s all the child is getting, I meant that’s all the child is seeking. But they are getting much more than comfort at the same time.
A lot of people have suggested that at that age it is “more for the mom than for the baby”. I have been trying to wean my 2 year old since she got teeth because she has a habit of clamping down harder & harder as she nurses and it hurts & I have to constantly break her suction to reposition her. It is not at all about the mom wanting it. It is very demanging, constraining, and can be a down right pain in the butt. Most children naturally wean themselves well before school age because they are ready.
thanks for piping in today…love all the research and facts you have. You have def done your research. thanks for the honesty.
I remember hearing the comment “I don’t want to be a human pacifier” in regards to breastfeeding for comfort. A pacifier is someone who brings peace, right? Why wouldn’t we want to be that!?!?