I saw a post on Facebook last week that literally stopped me in my tracks.
A married, female, mom, friend of mine, updated her Facebook status to say…
I WISH WIVES WERE MORE IMPORTANT THAN VIDEO GAMES!!
She laid it out there for the world to see, as well as her husband! As a matter of fact, she inboxed me with the following message…
“I take it personally. He is making a choice and sending the message that a video game is more enjoyable to him than his wife and child. He sees no harm in it. It’s not porn, it’s not alcohol. I have shared my feelings about it on several occasions. It does not effect him. I resent him playing constantly and he resents the fact that I resent it.”
Are video games a problem in your house? If so, here are a few tips everyone should think about…
TIPS FOR WIVES:
- DON’T BE A NAG: You have already said it 23,000 times, he knows that you would rather him not play. Walk in silence and ask that God would give you the grace to walk through this season in your life.
- GRAB A PEN: Take the time to write out a thoughtful note on how his gaming affects you. Be honest, vulnerable and grace giving. Share with your hubby that his gaming makes you feel second rate, un-important and like you don’t matter.
- PLAY THE ACE OF SPADES: I love playing the card game spades. The Ace of Spades is the card that trumps all other cards. Ladies, you have a trump card in your hand, and it’s called love. Walk in grace, love and pray that God would change your man’s heart…before you kill him!!!
TIPS FOR HUSBANDS:
- GET A FREAKING LIFE!: Seriously!!?! So here is the deal, I know you like to play games, I know that Dig Dug and Galaga helps you relax after a long day…but you have a freaking job to do! Your wife need your attention, she needs help cooking, washing the dishes, straightening the house, playing with the kids, getting kids ready for bed and she needs some cuddle time on the couch (because I know all you men like to cuddle.) Men, I don’t care if you play games…just make sure it ranks #5 in your life and not #2.
- GIVE HER PERMISSION: Be irrational and give your wife permission to confront you when gaming takes the #2 spot in your life.
- YOU CAN’T LEAD WHAT YOUR NOT LIVING: Guys, your kids are watching. If you want them to sit in a vegetative state, headset in place playing Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3, well…keep playing because your kids will DO what you DO.
TIPS FOR PARENTS:
- JUST SAY NO: Put the gaming on hold as long as you can. Don’t go out and buy a console for your 4 year old, just so you can have one! Put it off until you think you absolutely have to have one.
- SET LIMITS: I know, Captain Obvious right!!?! But most parent’s don’t! Set a “days of the week” limit, set a “time each day” limit and set a “rating” limit. Your kids should not be allowed to play what and when they want.
- MEDIA LIMITS: Our kids are not just obsessed with X-Box. They are obsessed with Facebook, YouTube, smart phone apps, ipads, computer games, television and texting. You should consider looking into and setting not just X-Box limits, but total media limits.
Do you feel like your husband values video games over the family? If so, would love to have you pipe in!!
If you like this post, you should check out…
BE AN IRRATIONAL PARENT: BORE YOUR KIDS
10 TIPS TO PROTECT YOUR KIDS ON FACEBOOK
THE ATTACK OF THE CLIPS, CLICKS & CHANNELS
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I think my husband thinks he is doing good at not playing Xbox all the time. But when he lets his dinner get cold because his game of Madden is almost over and 20 minutes later he finishes. Once I sat there and just waited to eat and let my dinner get cold. Not going to say I’m doing the right thing. But honestly I want to burn the xbox so this was the lesser of two evils. (thankfully he does not do this when his kids are here visiting) But yeah, I feel like if did something like that as often as he plays xbox then he would get upset that things were not getting done around the house. I know it could be worse, but I still feel like Xbox comes before me. He is a good man and provider, but I work full time too and I would like a bit more of his attention. (and help around the house)
I am fully aware that this happens but surely a better form of communication could have been used in this instance. I am all for face to face sit down lets have a chat. Family should always come first in my opinion. I emphathise with this lady but she needs to talk to him. Interesting post and one that unfortunately is a reality.