photo courtesy of stockfreeimages.com
When Nancy and I married, we were quite young— especially by today’s standards. I was very immature and had some pretty crazy ideas about marriage and my role as a husband and father. I adored Nancy. I thought she was the most beautiful creature God ever created. Yet with all that said, I somehow got the idea that I was supposed to change some of the areas in her life that I thought needed changing. As good as she was, I just knew she would be so much better if she followed my plan for her life.
Most of you do not know Nancy. She is a godly, loving wife. She would literally do anything for me. But she also has a really strong type A personality. What that means is that she is not going to let anyone tell her what to do. When I realized this, I was appalled. How could she be so against this opportunity for improvement that I was offering her?
Gradually, my love for Nancy compelled me to seek to understand her in light of how God had uniquely wired her. I needed to learn to accept my wife completely in order to fully appreciate the gift she is from God. The bottom line is that I am so thankful that God gave me a wife with a type A personality. God knew that I needed someone who could tell me no. I needed someone who would challenge me and make me examine my plan.
With my kids, it was a little different. I knew God had entrusted me with them. It was my job to teach them and to train them. I got that. Yet, there was something I was missing. My plan for them was not always God’s plan for them and when I left Him out of my parenting equation, things did not turn out well. God had a perfect plan for my kids and when I sought His wisdom and guidance in parenting, I got to see that plan. You know what? Just like His plan for Nancy was better than mine, His plan for my kids was also better than mine.
God uses me in the life of my family to encourage them and to guide in a certain direction, but ultimately it is His job to mold them into who He created them to be. He is the One that loves each of them more than I do and has the perfect plan for their lives.
Are you a controlling parent? Do you need to surrender your plan and trust God’s plan for your kids?
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I hope I am not a controlling parent – in fact I know I am not. I say give your children what they need emotionally and teach them what they need to know and then let them fly. The maker certainly has his own plan for them.