Sex & Starbucks: How To Have “The Sex Talk” With Jr. High Kids

Jr. High is just an awkward season of life!

Kids start to stink, grow mustaches’, arm pit hair, breasts’, morning time woodie’s, periods, girls are 2 feet taller than boys and they all start shaving just to name a few!  In Jr. High, kids notice the opposite sex, some start kissing, sexting, messing around (hands in the pants and up the shirt) and some start having sex (app 1/3).  Kid’s lives and purity are destroyed in Jr. High!  Parents, we must pull our heads out of the sand and lead them through this rough time in their life.

Parents, you should make sure your kids are up to speed on what sex is, if not…please read the previous posts’ and get busy!

KEY TALKING POINTS:

• MASTERBATION: So this is a pretty tough one to tackle with your kiddos, but as parents we have to step into the pain and lead our kids through it.  The Bible is actually silent on masturbation, which makes it a tough topic to tackle.  Christian thought leaders opinions vary on the topic.  Author David
  Wilkerson once wrote in his book This is Loving? “Masturbation is not a gift from God for sexual desires. Masturbation is not moral behavior and is not condoned in the Scriptures.” On the other hand, Charlie Shedd, a long-respected Christian authority on sex and dating once wrote, “Masturbation can be a positive factor in your total development” and that “teenage masturbation is preferable to teenage intercourse.”  I personally think this is ridiculous, I don’t see how it can ever be a positive factor in a kid’s development.  However, lust is clearly mentioned in the scriptures and I encourage parents to take this angle when talking with their kids about masturbation.  And by the way…kids who masturbate will not go blind, grow hair on their palms or go blind!

SEVERAL KEY POINT TO REMEMBER WHEN TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT MASTURBATION

1. It can become a compulsive behavior
2. Can lead to the use or pornography
3. Use an age appropriate approach
4. Give kids the truth about masturbation (it’s a normal struggle, they are not the only ones)
5. Give them scripture to memorize that deals with lust, temptation and overcoming
6. Create an open, comfortable, grace giving culture to talk about this.

(Thanks to www.homeword.com for speaking into this post)

• ORAL SEX: The Washington Post reports that half of teens ages 15 to 19 years old have engaged in oral sex.  This is a problem that is escalating among pre-teens and teens.  As parents we must be the first to inform our kids of oral sex and that despite popular opinion, I believe that ”oral sex IS sex”.  The reality is that purity is the issue and I will be dealing with that later this week.

• WET DREAMS: To explain wet dreams to your son, first you must talk to him about erections. Erections can happen at any time, including when a boy is asleep. A wet dream happens when a boy becomes sexually aroused while he is asleep and ejaculates (semen – the sticky liquid that sperm is part of – is released from his body through his penis).  He needs to understand that wet dreams are not something to be embarrassed about, they are common and even happen to dad.  This will make him feel more comfortable in talking with dad about sex stuff

KEY POINTS TO REMEMBER

• The sex talk is like baggage. Only give them what they can carry. Add as they can handle it.
• Purity and honoring God is the key!
• Be honest, let your kids know it is difficult for you to discuss this stuff
• Starbucks is a great place to have “The Sex Talk”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES TO HELP:

• Great ARTICLE ON MASTURBATION

WHAT INSIGHT CAN YOU SHARE ON HAVING “THE SEX TALK” WITH JR. HIGH STUDENTS?

Would you like to receive Epicparent’s newest posts by email?  If so, click HERE or to add it to your reader click HERE.