Sex & Starbucks: How To Have “The Sex Talk” With Older Elementary Kids
LATER ELEMENTARY YEARS
Cole and I pulled up to Starbucks (this is our place for MAN TIME), we ordered hot chocolate, I was sick to my stomach, about to wet my pants, nervous, freaking out and here comes the question…
Me: Cole, do you know what sex is?
Cole: Of course I do dad, it when people kiss and hold hands.
Me: First I want you to know that God made sex and it is a beautiful thing when it happens between a husband and wife. Sex is when a mom and dad love each other so much, they want to express their love by having sex, and sex is when a man sticks his penis into a woman’s vagina. (did I really just write that?)
Cole: Do I have to do that dad?
Me: No son, you don’t! You never, ever, ever, ever have to do that! As a matter of fact, will you sign this contract right now stating that you will never….JK
Note: So here is the deal mom and dad, just prepare for an akward moment! Cole’s eyes were as big as softballs but I took the time to protect his heart and really explain.
KEY POINTS TO REMEMBER:
- The sex talk is like baggage. Only give them what they can carry, add as they can handle it. This is from my friend Natalie Witcher, you can find her at www.nataliewitcher.com
- Talk to your kids about how the body changes…growth, stinky pits, breast buds, hair, etc…
- GOD MADE SEX! Let them know sex is wonderful when experienced between a man and wife.
- Be frank, honest, careful, loving and protective!
- Your kids may envision sexual actions, talk to them about this and pray with them. My son Cole talks about this HERE.
- Dad told him FIRST!…not the kids at school or MTV.
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES TO HELP:
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ok wow Sprad…this is good stuff! So pumped about this blog. I sent the link to all our friends. But really the reason for my reply is i went to the link mygodmadesex.com and listened to all the videos. There was one kid that stuck out to me because of what he said. The question was “why are you not having sex” or “why will you wait to have sex”…and most of their responses were “to please my mom or dad”…but this one kids statement is my prayer for Taylor (well really both my boys). He said “because its glorifying to God and I DON”T WANT TO MESS WITH HIS DAUGHTERS”!! Amen!
So the key here with all our conversations(which we agree is not just 1 but many)…is not to bring about condemnation in their lives or for them to do or not to do something based on our approval or our rejection for that matter…the key is that their hearts are so bent towards the Lord that they simply find joy in making their creator happy.
I guess my prayer more than anything is not let me get all these conversations right Lord but Father God help us to raise up kids that are so in love with you they don’t want to disobey your word!
Again, great stuff. It’s better to tell it like it is so that they won’t be curious to go figure it out. YaKnowWhatIMean….
I’m unquestionably not as well acquainted with this subject but I do prefer to check out blogs for layout ideas and interesting subjects. You surely described a subject matter that I commonly do not care very much about and designed it particularly fascinating. This can be a good blog that I’ll pay attention to. I already bookmarked it for future reference. Thank you
And one advice for dads. Don’t bring it up at the dinner table with mom and brother sitting there. Yah this was how my dad brought up this topic. I still cringe thinking about it!