If you have a broken, strained, difficult, challenging, or awkward relationship with your kiddos then you should get out your pen and take some notes.
Here is the 1 secret that every parent can implement that will magically transform the parent – child relationship.
Are you ready?
Get out your pen or your iPhone notes app.
Here goes…
AWKWARD SILENCE
Yeah…as you can tell, there is no magical potion, solution, pill, or exercise that can transform your parent – child relationship.
Some of you may be stunned that I didn’t even give God a nod as the magical solution.
The truth is, that I do believe God possesses the power to transform that relationship and I do believe that God is Jehovah – Rapha (healer) and it is His nature to heal. But I also believe that most of the time God works in tandem with our hunger and willingness to lay aside our pride and fight for our relationship with our kids.
However…
Although I don’t believe there is any hocus pocus magic dust, I do encourage all parents to ask this 1 question every single night before their kids head to bed.
That 1 question is…
HOW HAVE I HURT YOUR HEART TODAY?
As much as Jodie and I desire to show our kids the love of Jesus and set their heart free, the sad reality is that we will and do puncture their hearts with arrows. We yell, judge, criticize, make them feel guilty, punish out of anger, and even make them walk on egg shells.
Wow, did I really just confess all that to you?
As parents, we wound and it is our job to heal those wounds…DAILY.
So I encourage all parents to step into the pain, be vulnerable, give your kids permission, and ask them if you have hurt them.
This is not a magical pill, but it will create honest dialogue and give you a chance to pull the arrows out in a loving and careful way.
And by the way…SHUT UP!
This is a time for you to listen, ask forgiveness and possibly explain. But it is not a time for you to hire a legal team and bring your best defense to the conversation.
If you like this post, you should also read 10 QUESTIONS EVERY PARENT MUST ASK THEIR KIDS.
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I appreciate the humility and honesty in this post. A relationship between imperfect people will cause some hurt. And it is our role as parent to be the one to initiate healing. I believe by having this type of dialogue with our children on a regular basis, shows them that we are approachable. So if there is ever a time our kids are hurt by others, they will know that they can seek wisdom and comfort from mom and dad.
I agree Rose!!! thank you so much for joining the convo today!
Andy Stanley asks him kids these questions every night. I have started doing so as well. Love adding if I have hurt their heart.
Here are Andy’s questions.
1. Is everything ok in your heart.
2. Are you mad at anyone?
3. Are you waiting around for someone to come to you to make things right?
4. Have you had any extended imaginary conversations with anyone lately?”
5. Do things come out of your mouth on a regular basis that you have to apologize for?
6. Have you secretly celebrated someones failure?
7. Anything going on you hope no one discovers?
8. Is there a question you hope no one ever asks you?
9. Have you lied recently to someone you love?