*photo courtesy of stockfreeimages.com
Jodie and I have a couple of great friends that have been diagnosed with a life threatening form of cancer. I have written about these ladies in previous post’s, but today I am writing about one of our friends young daughters.
Her name is Alison.
Alison is an amazing, beautiful and strong young lady. And the reason for today’s post is because some freakin idiot tried to steal her beauty and strength last week.
So here’s the story.
Last week someone (we don’t know who just yet) started a fake Instagram account making fun of Alision.
The account name was…
Alison is fat and ugly
Can I just stop a second to say that I freaking hate bullying. Bullying makes my stomach churn. Bullying is destructive. Bullying destroys lives. Bullying erodes confidence. Bullying flat out sucks!!!
So Alison found out about this at school one day and her entire world came crashing down.
Alison was mad, upset, broken, hurt, angry…can you imagine if this happened to one of your kiddos?
Alison tried to hide this from her mom because she didn’t want her mom to deal with this pain on top of the cancer she is battling. So Alison carried this burden alone for a few days until her mom eventually found out.
As soon as I heard about this whole ordeal, I decided to act!
I decided to track down the bully and pull his/her fingernails out with a pair of pliers. (great EpicParent move…I know) but I sure did think about it.
So instead of violence I decided to write a post about the whole episode. I called Alison and her family and asked if I could share the story. I was pretty hesitant because of the personal nature of the story, but Alison told me to write it! She said that if her story will help others and cause people to revolt against bullying then she wanted it to go public.
So there you go!
Most bullying happens when adults aren’t around, such as in between classes, at lunch or recess, after school, and online. Still, bullying rarely takes place without an audience – kids are around to see bullying 85 percent of the time. But even though they see it, kids usually don’t try to stop bullying, and may even be unknowingly encouraging it.
“Two out of three kids want to help when they see bullying, and helping out is one of the most effective ways to stop bullying and prevent it from happening again. When friends help out, 57 percent of the time bullying stops in 10 seconds ” (Hawkins, Pepler, and Craig, Social Development, 2001).
So here are 5 things you should teach your kiddos about bullying…
- Walk away. This shows bullies that their behavior is not funny or okay.
- Speak up. Tell bullies that what they are doing is wrong. By saying, “that’s not funny, let’s get out of here” or something similar, kids can stand up for each other. This may also give other bystanders the confidence to speak up or walk away.
- Be a friend. Sometimes kids get picked on because they don’t have any friends or anyone to stand up for them. When kids befriend someone being bullied, bullies are less likely to pick on them. Friendship can also give children the support and the confidence to stand up for themselves.
- Ask others to help. When more kids stand up to bullies, the bullies will be more likely to realize their actions are not okay.
- Get an adult. Sometime kids who are bullied are scared to ask an adult for help because they think it will make the bullying worse. Kids can help by telling an adult what is happening, or going to speak to an adult with kids being bullied.
I grabbed most of today’s content from the National Crime Prevention Council. You can read the entire article HERE if you would like.
SO WOULD YOU DO ME A HUGE FAVOR…Leave a comment here loving on and encouraging Alison and I’ll make sure she reads it! Spread the word and have your friends leave comments as well.
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Oh sweet Alison! I am so sorry that this happened to you. Please know that while it hurts, it is all lies! God made you for a purpose….He had a plan for you before you were even born. How cool is that? I am impressed that you let your story be told! Silence hurts and speaking out brings healing and will hopefully prevent this from happening again! Praying for you and your family!
Leah
Alison,
I am so sorry you going through this. What an incredibly hurtful thing to walk through. Often times bullies are jealous of the person they are bullying. Don’t believe the lies. Read what God says about you. You are his child, bought with a price, wonderfully and fearfully made. The plans he has for you are good. Praying the Lord comforts you, brings healing to your heart. (((hugs)))
Donna
To Allison, stand tall and proud. Know that whoever this person is that is doing this is weak and afraid. They see a strength in you, or something about you that they are jealous of and somehow believe that by tearing you down they can build themselves up. Don’t you dare believe them or the lies they tell!!! You were created by God and you are his creation.
It makes me angry when I hear stories like this. I understand that sometimes “kids will be kids” but children learn from their parents.
I lead a pack of Cub Scouts, and a den of 5th graders. We have talked about this and my boys have been told that they had better stand up for those weaker than themselves! They know what I expect from them and I better not hear about them turning their backs on anyone being bullied.
Alison, I agree with Donna. I’m sure the bully is jealous of such a beautiful (inside and out) girl. God made you unique and to HIs exact specifications. You are perfect and don’t let anyone tell you any different. Hold your head high as a child of God and remember you are worthy, priceless, and more precious than rubies!!!
Alison,
You are an amazing gift from God and this world is a better place because you are in it. You are a true blessing and I hope that you will take any evil that comes your way and turn it to good. Love and Blessings to you and your family.
Alison,
Thanks so much for letting Sprad share your story! Just by doing that simple thing you have impacted so many lives! It takes a special person to stand up for what is right, and I know God is going to continue to do so many great things through you!
Alison, I’m so sorry you have been wounded by this insensitive jerk. You are a precious treasure of great worth. You are loved and valued by so many. I hope you will latch on to the truth and throw out these lies.
Bullying is something that really gets to me as I have witnessed it from kids but also from adults who have never grown out of it and are so insecure in themselves that they still feel the need to act this way. That is what is seems to boil down to…insecurity in their own lives. Alison, I am sure if this person was secure in who they are themselves they wouldn’t see any need to belittle or have to place anyone else in a position of being made fun of. Something I tell my own daughters (17 &13) is to “FLIP IT” turn what someone meant for evil directly to you, into something beautiful. HOW?… by reaching out to someone else you know that may be in need of a friend and start focusing on doing the exact opposite actions of what this person is doing to you! Watch what God will do.
It’s obvious you have a strong support system around you and are a very strong young lady…keep walking strong, head high!!! <3
I first heard about this at Cornerstone this past Sunday and it broke my heart. I am a mother of 4 girls and nothing about this is ok with me. Allison, you were Created by The Most High and nothing about you is ugly. Nothing. You are His image. You are beautiful. No words by anyone else can change that. I also want to say that I am sorry about your mom. I will be praying for you as God continues to lay you on my heart.
You are beautiful, not because anyone says so, but because He said so.
Chris, unfortunately when it comes to bullying, it is often used by adults. Most people like to refer to it as “drama”, but when you break it down, all that it usually consists of is a person who for whatever reason likes to cause problems and will do or say things that are hurtful without even thinking or careing about the consequences. I can’t help but believe that these adults are most likely the parents of the kids that are carrying on this mean and cruel attitude.
OH this makes me angry!!!!!! WHY oh why do kids (anyone for that matter) have to make others lower to make themselves feel higher??? It’s mind boggling, and I surely hope that instagram page has been taken down and this has been dealt with. Please update and let us know the status, that the bullies have been talked to and this has been stopped!!! Sweet Alison, you are precious even though I don’t know you. Stand tall and proud of who you are and who created you!!!!! Those bullies have NO POWER OVER YOU!!! They have no power, don’t let them steal one more second of your joy. Hugs from a stranger (but a mom) who would defend you in a heartbeat!
Alison, God made you and you are lovely! Thank you for being so brave and sharing this story! It breaks my heart what people do to each other, please stay strong in God and fight His good fight, He is by your side!
Alison, your are so brave. Thank you for sharing your story. When something is hidden it has power. By telling others about it, it loses its power over you. You are a testimony and role model to others who are being bullied. Just by sharing your story. I will share your bravery with my kids in hope that is it happens to them they can take your lead and tell someone. Your beautiful. Your heart for your Mom is touching. You were created in the image of God. God has an amazing plan for your life. Isaiah 54:17, No weapon formed against you shall prosper. God is for you Alison. You are the newest member on my prayer list. You are loved.
Chris, thank you for being used by God is her life. I am honored to call you my friend.
Alison…I don’t ever have to see you physically to KNOW you are not fat and ugly. You could never be. I completely remember what it was to be a teenage girl…the ups and downs. I totally get it! Also having come out of it, I can tell you with certainty that it all gets great. God is with you and is even with your bullies. I will pray for you and your family Alison. I will also pray for these bullies so that they can change…so that they can feel love and see how horrible they are being. You are amazing! You keep love in your heart and most important…you keep loving yourself! When you love yourself…it gets really good!!!!!
Alison, I love you sweet girl and am proud of you for speaking up! You know I think you are a beautiful young girl inside and out. I continue to pray for all of you. No More Bullies!!!!
Alison,
We first heard about the enemy planting seeds in your life when Chris spoke at Cornerstone Christian Fellowship in Chandler, AZ last Sunday. I am a local Christian counselor and hear stories like this far to often. Thank you for speaking out! Kids need to know they have a voice, and I think you are encouraging them to speak up. I am praying for you and your family. I also pray that the bullies see the light and will maybe open up his or her heart to start seeking help. Alison, remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). God knows you are strong enough to speak up and turn this around to do His work. In prayer.
Alison,
I know how much you’re hurting. Although I’m much older now, I will never forget how bad I felt each time I was bullied throughout school. Unlike today, it wasn’t talked about much and my parents didn’t know how to help. I’m so happy to see how much support you have with Team Sprad coming in to help. If I could say just one thing to you, that I wish someone would have told me, it would be…”Don’t allow yourself to fall into the victim mode. With the help of trusted family and friends and wise counsel, take this time to find your balance. And then stand! Stand strong in the face of this mean spirit. Discover who you are in Christ, a daughter of the King:) Don’t play the victim role, be strong in the Lord, always.”
Much love to you and your precious family!
Allison,
I speak not just as a mom, but with the experience of having been bullied as a kid. I have been there, I know exactly what it’s like and I have also had the misfortune of seeing my kids have to deal with a bully. It is never easy and can be gut wrenching and horribly painful, humiliating and embarassing and leave you with a very lonely feeling. The biggest thing you need to remember is this: People who bully, whether they are kids or adults, do it because they are lacking something within themselves. They feel horrible about themselves so to feel better, to feel like they are strong or powerful or popular, they pick on someone else. Dominating another person makes them forget the hurt they feel. Don’t be too angry with them, don’t let them take that power from you. Feel sorry for them instead…pity them. They wouldn’t pick on you if you didn’t have something they wanted. Don’t take all of this on yourself, talk to others: friends, relatives, teachers, counselors, etc. Then, let it go and pray that they will find their way the healing and help they need.
Praying for you and your family!
People are just jealous of how awesome you and and the cool things you get to do. Hang in there!
the way I read the account name…
Alison is F.earless A.wesome T.alented and U.nbelievable G.orgeous L.oved Y.ou Better Not Mess With HER!!!
You rock, Alison!
Dear Allison, daughter of the Most High God:
Before God created anthing, He thought of you. He knew the time and place He would give you life. He designed each feature of your face and every quirk of your personality. You are perfectly made in His eyes.
A jealous, evil and cruel enemy wants to steal and destroy God’s beautiful creation – but don’t worry – God plan was always bigger. He sent His Son to restore you. God uses the schemes of the enemy to draw you near to Him and teach you to rely entitely on Him. No matter what the enemy throws at you – God will redeem it if we let Him. The amazing thing about redeemed people is that they are better than the original because His fingerprints are on your heart.
His Word is full of promises to you. Search them all out – let Him write His Truth on your heart. Bless you.
Alison,
You’ve taken your first step to defeat these bullies by sharing your story and helping others at the same time, good for you. Bullies are typically insecure and need to bully others who possess the qualities they feel they don’t have but desire to have. We can only hope that they realize their worth and focus it on good just as you have. You are a beautiful, strong and smart young lady and don’t let anyone take that from you.
Alison is BRAVE and COURAGEOUS and I am proud of you for speaking up as you bring power to those who fear they can’t and provide a voice to them all.
Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will give you strength, and for sure I will help you.
Isaiah 41:10
Alison…..I have never met you, but have seen your pictures on your grandmother Karen’s facebook. “Fat” and “ugly” would never be two words that would come to mind if I were trying to describe you. I think you are adorable and am so sorry you are having to go through this. It’s tough growing up, but I promise you that some day when you are older, you will look back on this experience and realize that whoever is doing this to you is a very unhappy person. My prayer is that God not only comforts and strengthens you, but also whoever is doing this to you.
God plants incredible beauty within each of us….press on !
Precious granddaughter-You are SOOO loved by so many. Of course all of your family loves you, but you have soooo many friends. Jesus loves you the most. You are the apple of His eye. We are all so proud of the beautiful person you are becoming. We are here for you, always.
Love, Sittie and Gary
Sweet Alison,
I cannot believe this has happened to you..and to your family. It never ceases to amaze me how cruel and insensitive others can be ~ You are such a fine young lady and I can only imagine that those who did this thing must be terribly unhappy with themselves and jealous of you. This verse always helps me in my struggles…GOD IS THERE, ready to help; I’m fearless NO MATTER WHAT, Who or what can get to me???? Hebrews 13:5-6 Keep your head up, be proud of taking a stand, and those who are responsible will certainly receive their reward in time.
I have your back Alison and I think you are an amazing young lady!! Stand strong and proud and know that there is a wall of people behind you!!
Alison you are such a sweet beautiful strong girl ! Don’t let those miserable people get you down they only do that to make themselves feel better , stay strong xoxo !
Sweet Alison,
You are so beautiful and strong! Even though you were not in my class last year I would see you help others. You have such a big heart! I am so sad this happened. I hate bullying and I can’t believe someone did this to you! Please do not believe them. I am so proud you are sharing your story to help others that may be going through the same thing. You are loved sweet girl! Always know that!
Meagan
Alison,
YOU are beautiful and wonderful and special!!!
I know you don’t know me – but your Mom and I used to have play dates for you and my son (Jackson) when we lived in Oklahoma. AND My Dad was friends with your Mom’s Dad….funny huh? ANYHOW – I KNOW that you are a stong and brave person – but not matter how strong, I know it still hurts when someone says something that is not nice about you. We have ALL been there! The person who did this probably doesn’t like themself very much – and that is sad. Way to go on sharing your story!! You are now even stronger and should be VERY proud of who YOU are!! Hugs from Georgia:) Kelly
Stand tall little friend Don’t let anyone make you think you are any of those things. You are sweet, georgeous and certainly not fat Some people have their fun at others expense. You got a lot goin on Don’t let anyone drag you down
Most kids that bully are jealous, and why should they not be? You are a great racer a cool kid with a great family and TONS of super cool freinds like me. YOU CANT BUY COOL., Be yourself and those Bullys will blow there own light out but yours will shine bright.
Dear Allison, I think you are one courageous young lady. You held onto the burden, not to let your ill mom know, that takes a lot of courage. Never let anyone get you down again and tell everyone who the bully is. Then you can point fingers at them. Good luck in all you do sweety and God bless you and Mom. I’ll pray that mom gets better soon. God bless you all. Terry from NYC
Alison,
I have not met you yet but I see your facebook page almost every day. Sittie posts pictures of you and I promise you honey, fat and ugly are two words that could never describe you! You are precious, honey. And a very brave girl and awesome race car driver! I hope you can feel all the love being sent to you today and every day. It’s alot, believe me. Big hugs and sweet love to you, Alison. <3
Sweet Alison, Learn to feel sympathy for the kind of life the bullies must have. The have no inner strength and can only feel good by hurting the good. Something in you makes her feel less, so you know you gotta be pretty awesome. I relate to the bullying. At recess in grade school the kids wold get together and throw rocks at me. I would have to hide during recess. Nobody did much about bullies many years ago. So when I tell you I feel your hurt, I really do. Stay the strong girl you are and hold your head high. You Rock!
Alison,
Keep you head high and your mind strong. What’s in your heart and soul is what defines you, not what others paint you as. Strength of family support will help anyone with any of life’s tests.
I was bullied in school too, years ago. It’s much easier now to see how pitiful their efforts were, truly a waste that only serves to shout out how empty their lives are, how sad. Hold your head high, lovely young lady. You are amazing (otherwise there would be no attack.) Confide in those who love you. Don’t try to carry this alone. We are praying for you. May God bless you with the words you need and the silence as well when it is needed.
Alison,
Love you darling! keep your head up… you are a beautiful young lady and so strong! xo Megan
(Mrs. Gaines)
Allison, you were made with a beautiful purpose in mind! God created each and everyone of us. Even the mean kid who said those awfully mean things to you. Unfortunately that kid is lost and not being shown how to treat others. The best thing we can do is pray for their heart and that God will show them, maybe through you, how wonderful we as individuals are. God bless you sweetie for allowing your story to be told and know that you are a beautiful person, inside & outside!! I pray your days are better & I pray for your family as well! God bless!
Leah T., in Wyoming.
Alison,
You are beautiful, strong, and courageous! You are more brave than most people will ever imagine. Thses bullies are so insecure with themselves that they make this stuff up so no one will notice their weaknesses. But they need your love and forgiveness more than anything right now. Love them like Jesus loves us, and your true beauty will shine even brighter ! You are loved and honored!
Alison,
You are one strong young lady and you should be proud of yourself! Standing up to bullies is a tough thing to do – but you made that choice and because of your actions, someone else may be spared from the cowardly actions of someone else. Bullies are usually children, or adults, who are insecure and make themselves feel better by hurting others. Hopefully you see through this post, and the responses, that you are a very loved, beautiful, and strong young lady! But most of all, that you are loved!
Alison, many have been touched by your allowing this awful, cruel story to be told. You are very brave and I believe your story and the fact that so many people have responded to it will help others being bullied who do not have support. God is faithful and I know has blessings unmeasurable for you. I know you have been hurt and am very sorry. Please remember all of us are praying for you and it will get better.
Alison-
I don’t know you but I was a childhood friend of your mom’s. I see the same beauty in you that I saw in your mom all those years ago. You, your mom, and your little sister are all so beautiful. I have seen so many pictures of you all and you are just amazing. Even more important than that though, from all that I have read about you, I can tell that you are an amazing young woman. If there are people in the world who cannot see your beauty, inside or out, it is them that has the problem. You are a beautiful,amazing,precious child of God. He could not have made a more perfect YOU. Your mom and dad would not change a thing about you-they love you exactly as you are. There are some people in this world who feel so bad about themselves that they feel the need to tear other people down to try to make themselves feel better. Please continue to be strong, like your amazing mother. I am so sorry for your pain. I think as women we have all been in a similar position before. People can be so cruel sometimes, especially kids in school. I hope you feel the love that we ALL have for you and your family. WE all know how beautiful and special YOU are. Much LOVE is sent your way. God bless you and your family. Life will get better sweetie.
Hi Alison,
I don’t know you, but bullying makes me mad. And I hope you’re hearing the truth in a lot of the comments above. You are beautiful JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
Much love from North Dakota
Alison…
There is a mighty army cheering you on!! You are one AMAZING God Chik!! Since so many have responded with my same thoughts… I thought I would share a few movie quotes:)…
“Nobody puts baby in a corner!” ~ nobody can put you in a box. God’s view of you and plan for you trumps all!
“What we do in life, echoes in eternity.” ~ how we treat people is a reflection of what’s in our heart. Bully’s will have to answer for their actions.
“The hills are alive with the sound of music.” ~ there is so much beauty all around you. People that love you, a Father who is crazy about you! Focus on all that is good and alive around you!
“All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage.” ~ praying that you will always be brave, courageous, strong, passionate, determined and beautiful!
Thanks for sharing your story! You are a world changer!!! xoxo…AMY
Sweet Alison, I’m so proud of you! You are willing to tell your story when so many others will not. God will honor you for your courage and strength! I’m sure your Mom is just as proud! Keep being a world changer, darling girl! Praying for your Mom.
Alison-
I don’t know why haters are like that because first of all you aren’t fat at all, I saw a picture of you on your moms Facebook. Also you are a beautiful girl! I hate it when people say mean stuff like that, I’m in 9th grade so I have done my time in middle school and it sucks. I know that you probably feel really bad right now but try your best to realize that you are a beautiful girl and a strong one too. You are dealing with mean kids on top of your mother having cancer, you are so strong I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this. I pray that things will get better for you, your younger sister, and your mom! I also wanted to let to know that after middle school and high school are over you won’t have to deal with all the mean and annoying kids anymore. This is a small part of your life and you will grow up and move on to other things and I hope you can love yourself as much as your family and friends do:D
Alison,
I heard your story at Church yesterday. I attend New Hope Church in Rosharon, TX. I cried when I heard about your mother and the meaness of others toward you. I want you to know I am praying for your mothers healing and for you and your family’s peace. I am also praying for God’s love to totally consume you.