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One of my good redneck buddies was telling me a RIDICULOUS story about his childhood this week, and the story goes a lil something like this…
His name is Darin, I call him Big D, and he grew up under the Friday Night Lights of Deer Creek, Oklahoma.
He started playing football when he was just a young whipper snapper.
And let me just say that Big D was a committed, “all in”, do whatever it takes to get better at football kind of a kid.
As a matter of fact, if you were going to play Jr. High Football for the Deer Creek Antlers, practice started at 7:00 AM. That’s right, before school even started.
But Big D had a dilemma!!
If he took the bus to school he wouldn’t get to practice until 7:30AM.
If he rode with his dad, he would have to get there at 5:00AM because his dad worked the early shift.
So what did Mr. Big D do?
He…
Unlike “some” lazy, wimpy, uncommitted, spoiled, selfish American kiddos chose the 5:00AM route!!
Yep! Big D was up a 4:30AM.
His dad dropped him off at a convenience store next to the school at 5:00AM.
Darin would sit in the local “Shop & Lift” from 5AM to 6:30AM eating breakfast, playing Gallaga and doing homework.
At 6:30 the coaches would show up.
D would be dressed, on the field and working out before any other kids would get there.
You gotta love the work hard, strap a set on, get it done mindset that Darin brought as a young man.
Honestly, if this scenario occurred today most parents (including myself) would adjust, bend over backward, give into their son’s constant complaining, show up late to work, pay a driver or possibly make their son quit football.
Big D is a great success today, first and foremost because he is a man that walks with God. Secondly Big D is a success today because his dad was absent much of the time.
His fathers’ absence forced Darin to become…
- An independent thinker
- Self-reliant
- A self starter
- Content with little
- A make it happen kind of a kid
So let me be the first to say that I am absolutely disgusted by the lack of presence, spiritual leadership and guidance from fathers today.
However…
I am starting to believe that too much of my presence will dwarf, handicap, spoil and thwart my kiddos maturity and self leadership.
So what do you think? Should you become LESS PRESENT in your kids’ lives?
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** hanging head with a sign **
I read this as I was debating whether to make my kid wake up early, ride with me and “hang around waiting” or leave my early morning breakfast to come back home and pick him up.
God’s timing is always good, huh?
Love how God works Jodee!
I like that thought and I do think it is true. If we step back from our children’s lives then they will do more for themselves and they will grow.
Very true Naomi!! Thanks for always checking in.
Cool story!!! Tell us more. What was the driving force that led Big D to Jesus. Since his dad was absent, who stepped up in his life?
He always knew Jesus, talked w/ Him but was not living it out until about 8 years ago. He surrounded himself w/ people that were living it out and he made the needed changes.
I have to say for the majority I don’t agree. Given this situation worked out for D for some it could have ended very differently. While we all learn lessons from our struggles, I don’t think it wise to ever praise a parent being absent. Parents have a very vital role to play in the lives of their children. I would like to think all the character building could be built without abandonment.
I totally get it Alice and am pretty much in agreement w/ you. However, I think there are a ton of parents that over parents and their kids would develop if they would take a bit more of a back seat. Love your thoughts and thanks for sharing them.