What My Dad Taught Me About Discipline

Today’s post is from the one and only Mr. Randy Allsbury.  Randy has recently become an “online” friend, but I look forward to hanging out with him when Team Sprad relocates back to Edmond, OK.  Randy spent 12 years in ministry and for the past several years he has been buried in the corporate world teaching the philosophy of “core values” based marketing or relationship marketing.  Want to learn more about what Randy is doing now?  You can get more info on his consulting HERE.

Randy has also just release a brand new book that is geared to men and marriage.  I absolutely love the title, “Real Men Hug Porcupines”.  Stay tuned and I’ll show you how you can win a free copy of this book.

Randy, it’s an honor to have you post at EpicParent today!

Here’s Randy…

Spanking, time-out chair, being grounded, no cell-phone, extra chores, no allowance… I am sure you can name a few more of our favorite forms of discipline. The thing I learned from my father was not “the” form of discipline that works the best, but instead having the right attitude and mindset when you must discipline your children.

The first thing we have to do is understand the offense. Was it a mistake in judgment, or was it outright rebellion? Do they have real remorse or are they sorry they got caught? When we know our child is repentant and not in rebellion it’s a good idea to show some grace and use that time to talk about the grace God gives us.

When my eldest two were in early grade school, I was a youth minister in Wichita, Kansas. I arrived home one afternoon and both were on their beds awaiting fatherly discipline. I shot up a flair-prayer for wisdom and a few minutes later I told them they needed to go get in the car. Sheepishly, Ashley and Austin went to the garage and got in the back seat. They were nervous, knowing they deserved to be punished. Not sure where we were headed, I drove them out of the driveway. The car was silent. Austin was envisioning a trip to the woods and not returning. (We were in Kansas, there were no woods.) A few minutes later, I pulled into a Braum’s fast food and ice cream store. We went in and I told them they could order any ice cream treat they wanted. You should have seen the look on their faces. Half happy and half “I wonder what kind of dirty trick daddy is going to play on us?” They received the sundae and cone and we headed for a table. Sitting I said, “Listen guys, I want to teach you about grace and mercy. Mercy is when you deserve a spanking and I don’t give you one. Grace is when you deserve a spanking and instead I buy you ice cream. We are all sinners and deserve punishment, but because of Jesus, we don’t get punished and we get to go to heaven and live forever with God.” From that day on, those two understood the grace of God.

As parents, we can either look at disciplinary occasions with regret or we can make them opportunities to teach and build a better relationship with our children.

The bottom line is, when our children misbehave, IT’S NOT ABOUT US!

If you would like to win a copy of Randy’s new book “Real Men Hug Porcupines”, knock these 2 things out we’ll enter you in the drawing…

1.  Leave a comment and tell us why you would like to have this book on marriage.

2.  Become a fan of EpicParent.tv on Facebook.  You can do that HERE.

If you would like to purchase a copy of his new book, you can do that HERE.

Would you like to receive EpicParent’s newest posts by email?  If so, click HERE or to add it to your reader click HERE.

 

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ChrisSprad
Author: ChrisSprad View all posts by
Chris Spradlin (AKA Sprad) is passionate about Jesus, he doesn’t drink coffee, is bald, has a chinhawk, lives in Edmond, OK., loves to fly fish and snowboard. He has been married to his smoking hot wife Jodie for 18 years and they have 3 kiddos also known as Team Sprad. Chris if the founder of EpicParent.tv and has been in ministry for 20 years. He has served as a Pastor and Team Teacher with Craig Groeschel at LifeChurch.tv and currently serves on the Executive Team and a Team Teacher at the multisite NewHopeChurch.tv. You can find Chris on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.

12 Comments on "What My Dad Taught Me About Discipline"

  1. Jodee Whitworth May 18, 2012 at 10:13 am - Reply

    I had a similar conversation earlier in the week with another parent. I wish I could have said it this well.

    • ChrisSprad
      ChrisSprad May 25, 2012 at 3:12 pm - Reply

      Jodee…you have won the book! Be sure to send me you address and I’ll drop it in the mail.

      • Jodee Whitworth June 9, 2012 at 6:49 am - Reply

        Oh, dear! I just was this! Is it too late to get my book?!

        • Jodee Whitworth June 9, 2012 at 6:56 am - Reply

          ** saw ** this! Good grief!

          btw, I’ll go ahead and give you my address just in case:

          439205 E. 230 Road
          Vinita, OK 74301

  2. Jamie M May 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm - Reply

    That’s such great advice, and yet, it can be so hard to remember sometimes! Thank you for the excellent reminder. I will be looking for ways to put it in to practice with my kids!

    Oh and that book sounds awesome! Sounds like one my husband would really enjoy! :o )

    • ChrisSprad
      ChrisSprad May 25, 2012 at 3:13 pm - Reply

      Hey Jamie..thanks for entering the drawing! Just wanted you to know that we have a winner…but be sure to pick up a copy!

  3. Jennifer May 18, 2012 at 7:02 pm - Reply

    I remember having a convo about grace with our littlest guy when he was about 4… Upon hearing he did the exact same thing the following week at Mother’s Day Out, I told him he could expect a spanking when we got home. All the way home he wailed in the back seat “I WANT GRACE…” Me too little guy ;)

    1 – Who doesnt want a better marriage and as I enter my 40′s and things are starting to prelude into going weird, I want my hubs to know how to hug a porcupine ;)

    2 – Done

    • Jodee Whitworth May 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm - Reply

      Loved the “I WANT GRACE” story! Too cute!

  4. Jamie May 22, 2012 at 3:23 pm - Reply

    1. I am sure this book on marriage would be encouraging for us, and to share with our friends.
    2. Already a fan. :)

    • ChrisSprad
      ChrisSprad May 25, 2012 at 3:14 pm - Reply

      thanks for saying hey Jamie…we have another winner, but please be sure to pick up a copy!

  5. Shawn S. May 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm - Reply

    Going to be using this “lesson”. Most likely sooner than later.

    I’d love a copy of the book because I can use all of the help I can get!

    • ChrisSprad
      ChrisSprad May 25, 2012 at 3:15 pm - Reply

      we all ready have a winner….but be sure to pick up a copy!

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