Today’s post is from the one and only Mr. Randy Allsbury. Randy has recently become an “online” friend, but I look forward to hanging out with him when Team Sprad relocates back to Edmond, OK. Randy spent 12 years in ministry and for the past several years he has been buried in the corporate world teaching the philosophy of “core values” based marketing or relationship marketing. Want to learn more about what Randy is doing now? You can get more info on his consulting HERE.
Randy has also just release a brand new book that is geared to men and marriage. I absolutely love the title, “Real Men Hug Porcupines”. Stay tuned and I’ll show you how you can win a free copy of this book.
Randy, it’s an honor to have you post at EpicParent today!
Spanking, time-out chair, being grounded, no cell-phone, extra chores, no allowance… I am sure you can name a few more of our favorite forms of discipline. The thing I learned from my father was not “the” form of discipline that works the best, but instead having the right attitude and mindset when you must discipline your children.
The first thing we have to do is understand the offense. Was it a mistake in judgment, or was it outright rebellion? Do they have real remorse or are they sorry they got caught? When we know our child is repentant and not in rebellion it’s a good idea to show some grace and use that time to talk about the grace God gives us.
When my eldest two were in early grade school, I was a youth minister in Wichita, Kansas. I arrived home one afternoon and both were on their beds awaiting fatherly discipline. I shot up a flair-prayer for wisdom and a few minutes later I told them they needed to go get in the car. Sheepishly, Ashley and Austin went to the garage and got in the back seat. They were nervous, knowing they deserved to be punished. Not sure where we were headed, I drove them out of the driveway. The car was silent. Austin was envisioning a trip to the woods and not returning. (We were in Kansas, there were no woods.) A few minutes later, I pulled into a Braum’s fast food and ice cream store. We went in and I told them they could order any ice cream treat they wanted. You should have seen the look on their faces. Half happy and half “I wonder what kind of dirty trick daddy is going to play on us?” They received the sundae and cone and we headed for a table. Sitting I said, “Listen guys, I want to teach you about grace and mercy. Mercy is when you deserve a spanking and I don’t give you one. Grace is when you deserve a spanking and instead I buy you ice cream. We are all sinners and deserve punishment, but because of Jesus, we don’t get punished and we get to go to heaven and live forever with God.” From that day on, those two understood the grace of God.
As parents, we can either look at disciplinary occasions with regret or we can make them opportunities to teach and build a better relationship with our children.
The bottom line is, when our children misbehave, IT’S NOT ABOUT US!
If you would like to win a copy of Randy’s new book “Real Men Hug Porcupines”, knock these 2 things out we’ll enter you in the drawing…
1. Leave a comment and tell us why you would like to have this book on marriage.
2. Become a fan of EpicParent.tv on Facebook. You can do that HERE.
If you would like to purchase a copy of his new book, you can do that HERE.