My oldest son is 13 years old and in just a few short months he will turn the big 14! I can’t believe that I will be the father of a semi-hairy legged, hormone ragin, stinky young man!! What did I ever do to deserve this!!?!
I knew this day was coming, so over the past few years I have done my very best to impart Jesus, work ethic, manners, drive, morality, study habits, discipline, hygiene, athletics, honesty, compassion, respect, honor, sweet dance moves (yah…not so much), discernment and judgement deep into his soul.
I have worked hard to teach him how to treat ladies, come to the defense of the defenseless, harness his strength with his siblings and to treat his mom with respect and honor.
As I think of all the wisdom that I have deposited into my son, I have come to the realization that I am a stud father! Yep, that’s right! I deserve one of those cheesy father of the year t-shirts.
Really?
Am I?
Yeah, not so much.
The reason I say that is because in the midst of all the sermons, teaching and power point lessons I realized that I am becoming more and more disconnected from his heart. I am connected to his head. I have imparted wisdom to his brain…but I am loosing his heart.
So today dad tried something different. I decided to pick him up from school and head straight to the basketball court and we played hoops for about an hour. And it was during our game that it hit me!!
It hit me that my countless hours of sermons connected me to his head but one hour of fun (non instruction, education related time) re-connected me to his heart.
Today reminded me that my son needs my TIME more than he does my INSTRUCTION! Today reminded me that my son needs my LOVE more than he needs my LESSONS. Today reminded me that my son needs my HEART more than he needs my GUIDANCE.
So parents, it’s time to go back to the fundamentals of parenting! Spend time, lots of time, quantity time as well as quality time with your kids. And when you think you have spent enough time…it’s time to spend some more time.
Do you struggle with spending time with your kids? Would love to hear your story.
If you enjoyed this post, you should also check out…
- Confess, What Is Your Parenting Flaw?
- Be Your Kids Friend, Not Their Parent.
- How To Keep Your Family Time Fresh.
- 5 Choices That Destroy Father Child Relationships.
- 5 Choices That Destroy Mother Child Relationships.
I do struggle with this! Based on a suggestion I read (maybe by Jon Acuff?), I started making a firm “no computer, no phone” policy for myself between 5:30 and 8:30 PM. If I do (which I have), I owe each of the kids a quarter. It’s become a fun game with my kids, and is a reminder for me to focus on the few precious hours I have with them.
(And yes, I’ve had to pay up a few times.)
I saw a quote the other day that said something about realizing that our kids will follow our example more than our words. Very humbling.
Our oldest just turned 14 last week. Pretty amazing!!! I pray your son will grow up to be a godly man who loves the Lord FIRST.
For my 4 year old, it is a surprise wrestling match. Thanks for this reminder.
My son just turned 13 in January, but he’s been acting the part of a teenager for awhile now. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about – the eye rolls, the occasional “I know better than you do” tone of voice….. But he also still sits next to me while we’re watching TV rests his head on my shoulder and tells me he loves me – which is awesome – and I’ll take it as often as he’ll give it.
I also know how hard it is with life flying by in rapid fire pace to think that it’s enough to help with homework, to teach him life lessons on how to treat people, and how to act in different situations. I constantly have to remind myself that if he asks if I want to see something he’s put together using a music program on the computer, take the 30 seconds to look at it. If he wants to show me something cool on a video game, DO IT. And never, under any circumstances, if he asks me to play catch do I say anything but “YES!”
Time with a teenager is precious, and I want to take every opportunity I can get…I just have to remember to do so.